A Belated Update: Issue 2 and Pomona Zine Fest

Lately I've been reflecting on my initial decision of making a blogspot page for the zine. Did I really thought I was going to update this frequently, on a regular basis? Or did I just wanted to be able to show off and go around, saying "Hey everyone, I have a blog that's not just the result of me liking the sound of my own voice/words!" It's times like these that make one wonder about their true intentions and whether or not they're being truthful to themselves.

Oh, and also Choke On A Laugh Issue 2 is (finally) out. Actually, it's been out since last Sunday, it's just that I'm too busy with not updating the blog to update the blog. It's available for $5, postpaid, and has interviews with AV locals In Decline, Snitch, and The Downsides, as well as not-so-local Crushed!? Also includes exclusive art by Jason "Mr. Evil" Covelli! Get that shit now so you can flex on both of your friends who are vaguely interested in heavy music!

Also not-so-new-news, COAL will be at the third annual Pomona Zine Fest! They're currently working out a venue space, so the exact address will be announced soon-ish, but what is confirmed is that it's being held on October 12, between 5 to 10 PM, so be sure to mark your calendar and ask your mom if it's okay to stay up past bed time. If you still use Facebook, be sure to select "going" on the event's page here, these guys need to be sure of how many people to expect for resources and the like.

Here's to hoping you all have a great whatever-is-left-of-summer, and here's to hoping that I don't die in a car accident on my way over to PZF!

Behold, The First Issue In It's Entirety!

Good God would you look at that, I only now remembered about the blogspot page! I remember how the first post I made here mentioned that this will be updated weekly. Oh, how naive I was. To paraphase, Simon Brody of the great Drowningman once put it bluntly: "A blog is like a sink full of dirty dishes. You'd rather do anything else besides it."

Anyways, the reason for this occasion of the season is simple: I'm running very low on copies of the first issue of COAL. Initially I thought about just doing some sort of made-when-order type service, or just printing another 50 copies, but finally I figured I'd just put it up digitally for anyone who missed out. For those of you who (for whatever reason) picked up a copy, consider it something special. It's still very much likely that reprints of Issue #1 will be made for special occasions, like zinefests and stuff like that, but to assure you all the specialty of the original press, all reprints will lack the color covers and anything else to make them stand-out. Just like us American workers and students.

Anyways, once I do sell out of copies I'll be sure to make a post about it. Perhaps not here, but certainly on the much more active Instagram page (which is, as always, @coalzine). Also while I'm at it, Issue #2 is still very much a work-in-progress. Taking much longer than I had anticipated, but regardless it's coming out no later than July.

To get this all over with, here's what you've all came for:

The Top 5 of 2018

It has come to my attention, and perhaps yours as well, that I completely forgot to leave in a list for the absolute best of the previous year. If there's anything that needs to be included in a music zine when it debuts within the early months of a new year, its a top 10 list. To make up for it, here's my attempt:

THE FIVE GREATEST MOMENTS OF 2018, ACCORDING TO S.O.S:

5: Discovering Autechre

If there were ever a more blissful form of muzak, I would like to hear it, for the bleak sounds produced by the Manchester duo is enough to make me welcome death in her comforting embrace. This is the peak of human achievement.

4. Discovering LP5 By Autechre

Never before has the schizophrenic breakdowns of computers sounded so pure and relatable. LP5 is a unique piece in the ae cannon for it is the only recording by the group to imitate, no, improve upon the narrative driven mentality behind guitar-based albums. A true work of beauty.

3. The Release of NTS Sessions 1-4 By Autechre

In true fashion of all great artists, ae made the successful attempt to provoke the listener, the industry, and society with the monstrous release of NTS Sessions 1-4. Quadruple middle fingers in the form of a quadruple album, two for the two beautiful men behind it all. Hopefully within the next few years they will top this 8-hour piece with a 16-hour giant, as both a thank you and as a punishment to all the interviewers that always bring up Max/MSP with them.

2. Spending $15 On An Autechre Poster

Now whenever, ifever I am able to convince a woman to come visit my home, she will be able to tell that I have exquisite taste all-around just by seeing this wonderful print hanging above my bed.

1. Officially Dedicating My Life To AE

My mother cried in my father's arms as I calmly told them that I will leave the home in search for true understanding of the unearthly tones that Sean and Rob mastered for the world to hear. I explained to them how happy I was to leave my job and school to live in the mountains, naked and alone, listening to Tri Repetae on repeat until I die. My father dissaproved and made the attempt to change my mind. "Nah," I says, "I must understand the complexity of these rhythms, and the only technology I will use will be a laptop so that I may self-learn Max/MSP." 

I do hope that this list may bring enlightenment to all my readers, and I especially would encourage them to read the sacred texts of the WATMM forums so as they may truly experience the pure ecstasy of ae.

...Oh, and here's the actual "Best of 2018" list:

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Vein - Errorzone

I didn't even bother to bring this up in the review section of the last issue due to the sheer amount of clout and praise this band received this past year. Like holy shit even Melonthany Headtano reviewed this album, and these guys even have publicized beef with .gif from God, so you know they pretty much reached that no man's land between mainstream and underground. That being said, I enjoy this a fair bit and do feel that the praise is mostly deserved. Here's to bringing back frosted tips and wallet chains!

veinband.bandcamp.com

Lucretia - 41.3165, 73.0932 (Blindly I Reach, O' Lord)

This one should come as no surprise seeing how I interviewed them and talked to some extent behind the meaning of this album's unusual title (which, by the way, refers to Shelton, Connecticut, NOT Broadway). This recording refers back to the good ol' days of East Coast metalcore: It's heavy and tastefully mid-fi, with a nice emphasis on the drums in terms of the production department. There's even some nice melodic parts mixed in (i.e. they stopped playing bar chords for a moment to do some cool quick-session solo-ish things like on "William Bailey"). If you're the kind of old head that thinks anything that could be tagged with "-core" sucks and that the days of prime (if you even think they existed) are over, well then go fuck yourself grandpa. For everyone else, give this a listen.

lucretiact.bandcamp.com

Intercourse - Everything Is Pornography If You Have An Imagination

The more I give this a spin the more I like and respect it. Stylistically sloppy in a forgivable way, Intercourse is rude, disrespectful, and downright mean. Holding absolutely no remorse for shitting on dipshits who deserve it, their vocalists utilizes his mic to record his vocal aneurysms while riffs are thrashed around in quick recession. If you can't tell already I like angry music.

intercourse.bandcamp.com

Nihilith - Tragedies Of The Wicked

I've already made my fanboying of this release clear by this point, so I'll try to keep this one short: Nihilth bring monolithic riffs like concrete blocks to the skull. They choose to wallow in the world's misery, bringing the occasional blast beat, tremolo riff, and bass slap with them. Annihilates.

nihilithslam.bandcamp.com

Autechre - NTS Sessions 1-4

I'm going to be real with all of y'all: I've barely begun to absorb the first two "discs" on this release. Here Sean & the Robs bring a somewhat minimalist, droning outlook of the world's end with repetitive beats and screaming pads. I'm pretty fucking bad at describing music that isn't heavy and guitar-based, I will admit, but with the material presented here I can say that it can be simultaneously catchy and dread-inducing. Give it a shot when you have 2 hour gaps of time to waste.

autechre.bleepstores.com

Snitch - Mistakenly Mutilated

Lo-fi grind with like 3 different vocalists at a time: You got the obligatory Spazz-wannabe-motherfucker, the obligatory screamer, and the obligatory powerviolence shouter. Got some catchy parts, got some thrashy parts. Check it.

avxsnitch.bandcamp.com

Crushed!? - Sins Of The Father

I know that it's corny to describe anything as cathartic and "soaring" but this band just fits those descriptions all too well. I feel like this one takes a more direct approach on attacking the world's misery as appose to their previous material, and I do have an extra bit of respect for it due to that. Also dig the cover a lot as well.

crushedisdabomb.bandcamp.com

Nine Inch Nails - Bad Witch

NIN has always been a band I refused to give attention to simply due to the fact my parents like them, and as well all know parents enjoying a thing automatically makes that thing uncool. Well fast forward to the past year or so and turns out I enjoy NIN. A lot. More specifically their 90's material, surprise, surprise. When I gave this a listen I enjoyed it as well, kinda fades away by the end but with the material that builds up to that point it's all good to me. Somewhat jazzy and spastic at times, very sterile and electronic at others.

(Fuck a major)

Anyways you get what you get, and this is what I offer. I'm going to pretend this post isn't late as hell and that we're not three months into the 12 month rotation, so I'm going to leave in the rest of the generic, optimistic nonsense these sorta end-year lists have at the end and say something like "lets hope this new year brings good tunes" or some shit.

Always and Forever,

S.O.S

Attention All Planets... We Have Resumed Control (or; The Blog Apologist Intro)

Much like my ever-growing awe for the zine format, my interest for the ancient technique of "blog posting" has peaked to the point that I've now set up one for COAL. An ancient ritual from the early internet era makes a comeback to promote another ancient ritual from the pre-internet era, how fitting.

I suppose while I am at it, I might as well make up some excuses for the extra bandwidth being used. I mean after all, in the era in which social media reigns supreme when it comes to sending out information, what's the use? Well, for one, it does make for a more "professional" looking front for trying to sell copies I suppose. Having a site with some effort in the design department makes for a better pitch as opposed to some guy on Instagram with "DM your money" in his bio. The "Order A Copy" page has information as to how to spen-I mean, wast-no wait, spend your money on a copy of the zine.

A blog also makes it easier to link local artists and shit like that as well, and speaking of, that "Antelope Valley Links" button you see at the top of the page contains social media links to bands, venues, and labels that are/were associated with the scene, so if you're even a little interested I'd suggest you go there now.

In fact, blogs are great for listing off links to different pages and sites in general. The "Contact" button will have the e-mail and Instagram information relating to the zine, which makes for a great section to send off submissions for future issues. It also doubles as the place to go to for sending your hate mail and lawsuit threats, in fact if you really fucking hate this site, you could just click on the "Youtube" button, which will send you to the COAL Youtube page. That way, instead of feasting your eyes on this blog, you could instead watch performances by great bands that deserve the attention!

So, yeah. I think I did a decent enough job giving this blog a reason to exist. I plan on updating weekly, every Monday with updates and other shit that wasn't good enough to make it into the issue, so feel free to check back often and to link this page on your shit list of sites.

With love, S.O.S.